What'd you say....?

Talking during sex is fun. Strangely enough, for me at least... even when it's done wrong. See, I like to laugh and during sex is as good a time to laugh as any. Unless I'm with a dude with no sense of humor at all, this has never caused a problem for me.

But what do you say? Also... I know a lot of shy types who are fine with grinding all over their partners and putting bits and pieces of their partner in their mouths, but ask them to dirty talk and they lose their minds completely. It's hilarious, really, especially after hearing about the pornstar level acts they just told me they'd committed. So you can DO it, but not talk about what you've been doing? Funny stuff.

I'm not much of a "sportscaster", meaning that I don't like describing what I am already doing. I like to advise as to what I plan to do to him later though. In as much graphic detail as I can muster. I also tend towards a little bit of covert approval-seeking, disguised as dirty talk... hmmm.. more of a dirty questionaire, if you will. This sort of dirty talk leads me to some inside info on his favorite things that I do to him. Helpful info, yes? Yes.

I also kind of get off on hearing something that can be deemed just a bit inappropriate or asking for something that is logistically impossible as a means of expressing just how much I like what is being done to me.

Rants are what happens when I DON'T get laid...

The flaky guy I am sometimes banging strikes again. I say "sometimes" because the "banging" is not happening often enough. If a guy really wants to fuck you, you’d think he’d do so.

It's odd that when I ask someone if they are free on any given night and they say YES, they are... that they actually are free. Why YES, otherwise?

I need to find a new toy.

Sometimes I feel really weird when I say shit like that, but that is how I feel.

Given that I am a 40something and female, one would think that I’d be desperate for a husband by now. But no.. I mean a live-in penis would be convenient for all that sex I'm always wanting, but the rest of it...  sharing a living space, having to ‘check-in’ and having no privacy really just doesn't appeal to me.

I’m this unreasonable woman who wants sex whenever she wants it, alone time whenever she wants it, wants a bathroom to herself… not to mention wanting the bed to herself (for the sleeping, anyway).

I also don’t want to cook for anyone but myself or clean up after anyone but myself. I don’t want to have to converse with anyone when what I really want to do is watch Glee. I don’t want to have anyone nag at me if I spend MY weekend watching Buffy reruns… even if it’s 2 or 3 seasons of it.

I just want a reliable toy made of person as opposed to rubber or plastic.

Probably too much to ask, but I always ask anyway.